Everyone that I have come across who thinks that they are doing their own thing is really just going by a philosophy that they didn't come up with. That is what is known as being "conformed to this world" (Romans 12:2), which means that it is not "doing your own thing". It is doing what the world wants you to do, and it is conformity under the guise of non-conformity. Rockstar Marlyn Manson is one example of someone who thinks that he is doing his own thing and not conforming to the world, yet he is going by the philosophies of people like Alester Crowly, Anton LeVay and Carl Jung. These are philosophies that he didn't come up with, and I would say that is exactly what conforming to the world looks like. It is not original thinking, and it has been around longer than any of us have been alive.

While many who hold that mindset are so proud of "embracing their individuality", it's important to keep in mind that murderers, rapists and child molesters are embracing their individuality. Has that made them any more special than cultists who have no mind of their own??? I want to make it clear that I have no problem with embracing parts of our individuality that are innocent, such as an interest in sports, an interest in pets or an interest in our favorite foods. That is all fine, but it's important to keep in mind that "the heart is deceitful about all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I test the mind" (Jeremiah 17:9-10). While I think it's important to think for yourself, we also need the Lord to search our hearts since they are deceitful. As a result of our deceitful nature, we can even convince ourselves that teachings which the world came up with actually came from God Himself.

As one example of this, professing Christians who are into the self-love and self-esteem teachings see it as "recognizing who they are in Christ"...but the point they are missing is that Jesus told us to deny ourselves in Matthew 16:24. You need to first deny yourself before knowing who you are in Christ...otherwise your heart may deceive you into thinking that parts of your old nature are who you are in Christ. With that being the case, our focus should be on esteeming Him, not ourselves! The main point is that you can't know who you are in Christ if your focus is on yourself rather than Him.

Atheist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed that Christians don't love themselves enough, and Christians eventually started embracing this same belief at some point, thanks to psychology. For those who still think that the self-love teachings are just what the Bible has always been teaching, I urge you to carefully consider the following quote from Christian psychologist, Bruce Narramore: "under the influence of humanistic psychologists like Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, many of us Christians have begun to see our need for self-love and self-esteem.” (Bruce Narramore, You’re Someone Special. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1978, p. 22)

Through that quote, I find that Bruce Narramore acknowledges that it is humanistic psychologists who convinced Christians of the need for self-love and self-esteem. Yet many Christians who embrace these teachings as biblical would at least recognize that humanism is worldly. Want I want them to understand here is that there is no "healthy self-esteem" since our goal is to be crucified with Christ. If "I have been crucified with Christ...it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me" (Galatians 2:20) ...and that means the focus should be shifted from ourselves to Him. It doesn't mean abandoning qualities of your individuality which have nothing to do with your sinful nature, such as a witty sense of humor. That is all good, but in order for us to truly be crucified with Christ, we need Him to search our hearts to rid them of our old nature. If we are searching our own hearts by constantly esteeming ourselves, it is likely that we will deceive ourselves as a result and end up thinking that characteristics of our old nature are "who we are in Christ". So, all I am asking here is that people to take the focus off themselves and place it on Christ since His character is perfect and ours is flawed. Somehow a lot of professing Christians never get that when I try to explain this, and some of them even assume that I am trying to get people to hate themselves.

If self-hatred was really a problem, the Bible would not have pointed out that self-love would be one characteristic of the "perilous times" in the following verse: "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves..." (2 Timothy 3:1-2). The problem can't be both self-hatred and self-love. It must be one or the other, and Paul stated that "no one ever hated his own flesh" (Ephesians 5:29). Do you truly believe that it is self-love that characterizes the "perilous times" described in 2 Timothy 3:1-2? If you do, then you will acknowledge that we don't even have a problem with self-hatred to begin with, and I say that as someone who has been suicidal in the past. I know what it is to reach the bottom pit of despair, but the fact that anyone would despair over bad circumstances is just all the more proof that they really do love themselves. No one ever despaired over someone they hate not getting their way, so the point is this: Our problem can't be both pride and lack of self-love. It must be one or the other, and many verses including James 4:6 have made it clear that pride is our problem, not lack of self-love. If God is resisting you, it is because you are proud, according to that verse. In order to truly be crucified with Christ, you need to acknowledge that pride is what is keeping you from him and not a lack of self-love. With that being the case, a "healthy self-love" simply doesn't exist. Get into His word and allow Him to search your heart and test your mind.